Well if the debt of gifts & lack of time weren’t enough, sprinkle on some family drama & that’s completes the stress of my holiday. I never thought I’d be the mom that wanted to flee to another country for the holidays but sadly this is becoming my reality. I feel like I have been awarded the role of “make everyone happy” (which spoiler alert, isn’t possible) therefore I am always falling short and feeling defeated… Yay, fun times! Lol
Ok so bare with me, I promise to pick it up… being the baby of 3, I totally get that predisposition of the want-to-be problem solver but for real y’all …that role (that yes, I’ve assigned to myself) has GOT to go! Not only am I not equipped but I don’t want to be. I am learning so much in this season of life…not only have I been given that secret tool to learn “patience” (they are 7,5 & 2) but I am realizing that I was not placed on this earth to please everyone. Jesus reminds us through His own words that we have been placed here for 1 solid purpose & that is to love Him & love one another.
“Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Matthew 22:37-39 NIV
But folks love does not mean to please, take crap from, be victims to or be put down by those in your life. Love means love. It means accepting those that don’t think like you, don’t agree with you, that judge you, condemn you & hurt you. Love means praying for those exact people, not trying to change their actions with your words but transform their hearts with the sincerity of your spirit.
Hearing from not 1 but 2 of my family members, throughout the course of the past year, that I did not make them feel welcome “enough” in my home, hurt. I questioned myself, my actions, my intentions but then I stopped. I prayed. I realized that God knew my exact heart when I invited these 2 people & their families into my home. When I cooked meals for them, layed out beds, shushed my kids to not wake them & showered them with verbal love. Why couldn’t they see this? Well, simply put…free will. We were all given this deadly little gift. While to many it truly is a gift & in many aspects I will feel indebted forever for it but in other ways it has become a crutch to hurt others. We have control over very little in this world. We can not control if our heart stops beating, if our boss lays us off or if disease takes over our loved ones body. BUT we very much have control over our words, our reactions, our heart. Like any other muscle, your heart must be exercised. The largest weight in the gym for this exact training is the Word itself. If you ever want to know how to respond to that vindictive friend or unlovable family member, turn to His word. The power of learning that His vision of you is so much better than your own vision, can motivate you to want to see yourself in that same glorious light. I strive to not only act like the person He made me to be but feel like the person He made me to be. To live in peace, contentment & joy.
So as another holiday season passes, and this time I DID leave town, realizing that leaving town wasn’t the answer (the drama insued anyway) but love was the answer. I won’t say the right thing to everyone, I won’t buy the best gift & I won’t be who everyone wants me to be but I will love, I will pray & I will be who He created me to be. I am enough. We are enough.
We are here to love. We are here to serve. The drama, anger, hurt feelings & nonsense in between are mere distractions to knock you off course. Satan knows your insecurities, he knows the people that can get you at your core. So when that very person texts you, calls you or confronts you with anything other than the truth, His truth, you can smile, love & pray. He’s got this, He always does & in the meantime you will grow, develop & strengthen that muscle. Your heart. His heart. Love ❤️
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3 NIV
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
Romans 5:3-5 NIV