Home is where the Heart is….

So whether you are married or in a committed relationship, can I just say, you are doing an amazing job! Being in a relationship is not for the faint of heart…it takes work, compromise, commitment & a whole lotta grace. I must admit I feel like I got one of the good ones, but like any man in this world, he can still drive me completely crazy at times.  I mean for real ya’ll, what’s the purpose of them leaving trails of their crap everywhere, is this normal? This sweet soul just drops things as he’s walking & then I’m the human vacuum going behind him & picking it up…every.single.time. Yes, I’m fully aware I don’t have to do this,  but the next day when he’s having a panic attack because he can’t find his keys, wallet, phone (fill in the blank), I’m now the life source to provide said item….immediately (do you sense the urgency…huge eye roll.) And why is it when I ask him to do something, he looks at me as if I am growing a third eye,  says “yes”, and then doesn’t move a muscle? Knowing in my head, it’s not going to happen, but giving him adequate time (of course in my mind) to do it, followed by just doing it myself. Oh and lets save unfinished  “projects” for another blog…bless his ever loving heart, he means so well.

Have you ever heard of the book, Bringing up Boys  by Dr. James Dobson? So this amazing book, which I totally need to buy, explains anything and everything we need to know about the male species.  One fun fact I have acquired is that men are genetically programmed to focus on the task in front of them. Literally, their brains are still wired to the cave man days, “I need meat”, “I hunt”, “I do good”.  They don’t think too far ahead, they aren’t planning dinner at 9 am & cleaning while watching the kids, is most definitely NOT their priority. I’ve learned to walk in the door & if the kids are alive, it’s a success. And mommas, this is how it should be. They aren’t us, they don’t parent, clean or cook like us. They are men, good men, that gave us the most amazing gift…those cute, whiny little creatures taking over our household.  The quicker we can appreciate and acknowledge this, the quicker we can treasure them for the many beautiful things they DO contribute to our home.  And we is such an understatement here, I would have just put I throughout this whole paragraph but it makes me feel better to think I’m not alone in this, hence the “we’s”.

If there is one thing I’ve learned in my 13 year relationship, it’s that respect is a mans top need in this world. This is something that fills their soul, gives them drive & keeps them consistent. Respecting your husband is by no means weak or making you less of a force in your home. Respecting your husband is love, it’s kind, it’s honoring.

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

We are modeling to our children how to treat their spouses one day, and I don’t know about you but I didn’t always have the best role models myself. While they did the very best they knew, and I love them dearly for it,  it was just a different generation. We live in a generation of hands on dads, stay at home dads and that is such a beautiful thing!!

“And so train the young women to love their husbands and children” (Titus 2:4)

One of my many faults is controlling the space I call work, the space he calls home. Since I officially became a stay at home mom, I look at my home as my workplace. Like any other workplace when someone comes in & starts movin all my stuff around, it drives me crazy…but then I remember, crap, this is their “home”.  This is the place they come to after a long, hard day.  The place they have their favorite chair, favorite channel and favorite people. What a gift that we get to create this safe, nurturing space for our husbands to return to after a busy, stressful day. The place our kids get to come home to after a long day at school. It truly is a job, a somewhat thankless, underpaid job…but a job nonetheless! So please pat yourself on the back, buy yourself something cute, (for $10 or less of course because you feel too guilty buying anything more expensive than that) because YOU are doing an amazing job!!!

So lets sit back ladies, cut ourselves some slack (I mean you are running complete households, jobs, school commitments, after school commitments, volunteer roles and planning those ever so essential play dates to socialize the little’s). Lets honor and respect those husbands that gave us this role of “mommy”.  Lets show our babies what a home looks like filled with love, grace and forgiveness.  This life is a mere introduction to the beautiful home we have all been promised, enjoy it, embrace it and use it to its full potential.  You are here.  We are here.  And in Him we can do it all.

“I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

“For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth, and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind.” (Isaiah 65:17)

xoxo,

Melanie

This post does not apply to those who are in physically/emotionally abusive relationships.  Please know that you do not deserve any type of abuse and there is help to get you out. Click here.

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