What is saving me? This question has been tossed around by one of my favorite writers lately, making me sit, making me think. What is saving me? To be honest, so much right now. My hot coffee in my favorite chair and inspirational books is saving my morning, avocado on toast while my children are doing their quiet time is saving my afternoon & a glass of wine in my new rocker with the spring breeze hitting my face is most definitely saving my evening. There is something about these quiet moments that I steal for myself throughout the day that burrow peace into my heart & comfort to my soul.
My children are the heart and soul of this stage of life. They are young, impressionable and still fully dependent upon me. I know I will look back on this time and smile, wishing so bad I could breath it in for just one more day. I see pictures of them from just 1 year ago & I weep at where the time has gone. While I miss the morning snuggles, 2 naps a day and early bedtimes, I know it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows. I vaguely remember (thanks to short term motherhood memory loss, yes I’ve named this syndrome myself) locking myself in bathrooms, crying with my 2 year old because it’s the only way HE would stop crying & thinking I just wasn’t cut out for this whole mom thing. Girls, motherhood is hard! It ain’t for the faint of heart! It takes strength, stamina, the patience of a saint & the grit of a cowboy but whining can still bring you to your knees. Seriously what is that noise that comes out of their face that pierces my ears and sends shock waves through my brain?! I think that’s why Prozac was made.
These sweet little humans that we created fill us with more love than we knew was possible yet turn us prematurely grey. Today was a good day though. It was busy and I’m exhausted, but it was good. I wonder how often we take the time to just breath this all in? To enjoy it. The good and the hard. To embrace this season that is most definitely growing us, strengthening us for the next. What will the middle school and teenage years bring? What college will they choose, and yes they WILL choose (I’m back in school full time with these 3 love bugs…my kids will definitely do it while they are young and without much responsibility)! Will they marry someone I like? Will they be able to have children?! While these thoughts feel light years away, they are the blink of an eye.
My deepest desire is for my babies to love Jesus. I won’t die if they decide to just be missionaries and join a convent but we all know that most likely won’t happen…have you met my family?! Enough said. If they just genuinely know Him, trust Him & live to love like Him, I will consider my time on this earth a success. Even if they don’t, I know they are His and that will always put me to sleep at night.
I don’t know momma, I don’t know how much time we have on this earth, how many years we get with these tiny humans, but I do know we got today. If today was hard, guess what…it’s over, pour yourself a tasty beverage and let’s try again tomorrow. If it was beautiful, bask in it, remember it, write down your favorite memory from it…mine was sneaking a peak at what was suppose to be my napping 2 year old to see that she was no longer in her crib but her rocking chair, with her stuffed frog (that she so strategically placed a hat on) and was reading him books…all I could do was smile (for real, write these down…remember that motherhood short term memory loss syndrome!!! I am NOT kidding!)
“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12
So what is saving you today? Focus on that, make time for it. Take a deep breath and smile, today you lived…today you are loved.
“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34
~it is always my hope that these words reach who they were intended for 💕
If you would like to be a part of my daily community, join me at Mothering in the Mess on Facebook