What am I suppose to look like as a mom of three? I try to work out, watch what I eat, monitor my wine, get my hair done (when I can afford it), attempt to dress cute (pulling off all of Walmart/Amazon’s finest since that’s the only place I don’t feel immense guilt for indulging in a $7 top) and of course all with a smile…but why do I still feel as if I’m missing the mark? And who sets this so called ‘mark’ anyway?!
To be honest, I want to feel good, look good and rock it all with a smile but my reality is more like exhaustion, no make up & a messy bun! After all, my job is taking care of precious humans that could care less what I look like. Do we put these expectations on ourselves to please ourselves or others? To please our spouse or our friends? I find the more I surround myself around women who are just living and not impressing, the more comfortable I feel in my own skin. I notice that no matter how many inches I lose off my waist, I still see the stretch marks and saggy skin. Why can’t we just BE and stop trying to “look” like anything? Why can’t we do the things that make us feel good, not because we have to look a certain way but because they make us feel a certain way?
I have to admit that working out does make me feel better, not because I can button my pants again (while this is a huge relief) but because I have energy all the sudden!! I am not winded running up the stairs and I feel my strength as I pick up my 2 year old. It’s empowering, it’s invigorating. I love the feeling of freshly highlighted hair, liner on my lids and heels on my feet. I love when my internal & external beauty collide, filling me with confidence as a mom, wife, human. I think it’s okay to care about these things, but not for the reasons so many of us do them. It’s not to keep up with the size 4 mom next door or to make our husband notice us. It’s not to put on yet another role or costume. When we start living to be who we were created to be, the one God made…flawed, fearless and with love, then we can truly enjoy the things we do to care for ourselves. We are not here to please others. We are not here to just please ourselves. We are here to love, serve and spread His word. Of course we can do all this lookin’ cute, but because it makes us feel confident and strong, not because it’s how we are ‘suppose’ to look.
It was with great intention that we were created with different strengths, different roles. This creates a body, a balance, for us all to work together and function as one. How boring would this world be if we were all carrying the same box of tools. If your gift is to teach, then teach, if your gift is to serve, then serve, if your gift is to encourage, then encourage. When you see the women next to you who rocks it at leadership, and this is your weakness, then encourage her to lead while you rock your skill of encouraging, teaching, serving, fill in the blank. We were created in His image. There is not one of us who is not needed, not necessary. We all have our role in this masterpiece of life.
So who cares what Jane next door does, how much money she makes and or how she raises her kids. Lets stop looking to social media and Us Weekly to find out who we are suppose to be and lets turn to who we were made to be. We were made to be woman, “ezers”, warriors to fight the battle. We were made to bear children and/or raise them with such grit and love that you can hardly decipher the two. We were made to multitask at it’s finest while still finding time to relax. We were made to work in the home, out of the home and be an advocate for the human race. We were made to nurture, take care of and love the humans in our lives. We were made to protect our bodies, not for vanity but preservation. We were made to be wives, companions and partners because “it is good”
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 (helper in this context was written using the Hebrew word “ezer” which means “to rescue, save, be strong”. This is not “helper” as we hear it in today’s context. We were made to save our men, to be their strength. We were designed and created because we were needed, necessary and not just to “help” but rescue!)
So ladies, I speak to all of us (myself included) when I say… you do you! Find your friends that accept you for who you are. Find your rhythm, style and comfort in what makes you feel good, confident and prepared to tackle this world. Put on your “armour”, protect your spirit and shut out all the noise…believe me, there’s a lot of it! Unfollow those “friends” who give you anxiety, lead by example by standing strong in your own skin, teach your babies what real beauty is and stop trying to be who you think you are suppose to be and let’s be WHO WE WERE MADE.TO.BE. Love. Kindness. Mom.
So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Gen 1:27)
***Just for fun! Here is a cute tutorial on a messy mum bun! lol