It’s the cackle, if you have ever heard it…you know the sound I speak of.
It is loud because it is very spontaneous. It’s never planned or ‘just because’ to be polite. Its that uncontrollable burst of cheer that leaves my body and makes it’s entrance into a room of unsuspected receivers.
This is my cackle.
For many years this loud burst of joy was the butt of jokes or made for a quick laugh. Regardless it left me feeling insecure and odd. It made me self conscious and cautious, causing me to contain, restrain my laugh as to not offend others.
Does this sound as ludicrous to you as it does me?!
It’s now, in my late 30’s and 3 very truthful kids later that I realize this loudness, this voice, is nothing to hide or be ashamed of.
It is not to be concealed or hidden, it’s to be shared and felt.
The pure joy that I am experiencing in that moment, the cackle moment, is like that of a child. When we were blind to the harshness of this world and were optimistic to the dreams of our imagination.
Even my voice that gets louder and faster with excitement, is the illumination of my passion. It’s the representative for those I feel most protective over. This voice is for every foster child and family that is seeking normalcy, safety and connection. This voice is for every Mom weeping over the loss of yet another pregnancy or the quiet nights that she so badly wished were filled with crying sleepless babies. This voice is for my brothers and sisters fighting the demons of depression and anxieties of addiction. This voice is for the oppressed, the hurting, the broken. This voice, my voice, is for you…for us.
You see friends, our personalities weren’t accidents, they aren’t mistakes. The quiet, subdued women is the best listener you will ever meet. The loud, slightly aggression man next door, well he is your biggest advocate! The grownup that cant seem to grow up, well…they are wiser than us all as we are told to be more child like to enter the kingdom of heaven.
All our personalities, traits, neuroses are needed, necessary.
They are what represent us, represent Him.
Truth: I’m not too loud, I’m just loud enough.