37 is so yesterday…

So I know I’m a whole 10 days into this 37 thing but honestly, I’m pretty sure I’ve got it pretty much figured out.

Here it goes:

1. Money won’t last forever, nor bring me everlasting happiness so I’m done stressing over it. I’ll get what I get and won’t throw a fit…yes, I’m a mom to toddlers. Now this doesn’t mean I won’t work my rear off doing what I love and earning a living, this means money will not be my motivation. Passion, purpose and for the love of my deepest desires will be. Writing a book, making an impact on children’s lives…ALL children’s lives, loving big & well, living on land (I know this one takes some serious loot but I also know God is in the business of miracles…I’m just sayin’) and loving Jesus beyond all else.

2. I am who I am, and if you don’t like me…peace be with you, I ain’t got no time for people pleasing…I’m too busy tryin’ to obtain said goals listed above 👆. This one is actually hard for me but getting smacked in the face enough times by people that you have loved unconditionally, hoping they will one day appreciate your good efforts, will put you right in your place (am I right or am I right?!). Frankly, I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to make THEM believe I love them. I give up. There’s not a soul on this earth I hate, truthfully. There are many I disagree with, I refuse to fight with and hope to never be stuck alone with but I believe in Jesus’ greatest commandment with my whole heart, to love God with all your heart and all your soul and love your brothers/sisters as yourself. I am not perfect, I am not Jesus, but I will wake up every day and choose Him. That’s for Him & me to work out…not you. So, I’m no longer defending my faith or my motives. I’m no longer living for their approval. Sorry, but I’m not sorry.

3. Listening more than speaking. So this is the Holy Spirit speaking. I’ve never honored this piece of my anatomy, the whole two ears and one mouth thing. I’ve heard it since grade school (yes, I just said grade school because my soul says I’m 77, not 37) & at 37 I’ve realized this is actually valid. I realize that when God created us, He made NO mistakes. And that goes for the ears and mouth ratio. I did a rogue experiment this past year on intentionally asking more questions and talking less, it was….amazing. I learned and felt so much more deeply for the person I was speaking with, that I began to crave…yes crave, conversation WITHOUT speaking. It’s a form of discipline and solitude for my overactive brain and all its words.

4. Never stop learning, this is my heart. Reading has become a life source to my peace. Again, Holy Spirit here. Y’all I hated reading the first 35 years of my life!!!! No joke!!! Now I read 2 books a month on average and can’t get enough. It’s so bizarre but I’m not questioning it because the joy, wisdom, grace and patience it has instilled has been life breathing…I’m eternally grateful.

And last, I’m realizing this life is no way near over. I may be approaching the half way mark of the average earthly existence but I’m peaking on knowing exactly who I am. Who I am not. And who I will no longer be. I’m leaving my fear of financial instability, codependency and people pleasing in the past. And because I know they may still creep in from time to time, I’m arming myself with some bad ass girlfriends to get me back on track. To talk some sense and love over me and always point me back to Jesus.

My hope for this year is deep, authentic spiritual friendships that motivate and challenge me. Contentment in all areas of my life. Strength to leave the toxic BS behind, without judgement and anger but with love for myself and my future.

So that’s it. That’s 37 in ten whole days. If you are reading this and have been there, done that…share your 40,50,60 something wisdom with this up and comin’ momma. If you are comin’ up on my coat tails, know that while the aging, saggy skin and extra lb’s are a drag….the view from up here is oh so much clearer!!

There’s hope for us all sisters, let’s stick together, never give up…oh and Jesus truly has all the answers…

you just have to ask 😉

Xoxo,

Melanie Ortiz

@melanie_motheringinthemess

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