While classic “perfectionism” has never been my mantra, my Achilles, I realize it’s been one of my many narratives. I don’t hold a perfectionist perspective that says I must look a certain way or accomplish a required amount but I most definitely deem myself to be “too much”…too often. I minimize my passionate personality to not overwhelm others and likewise pretend to be engaged when I so desperately want to just be alone. This is where I fall short, so often. I am a social human who loves to engage others but my energy comes from isolation, your ‘classic’ introvert…no? No one that has ever met me has classified me as this and I realize that. I have had introverts tell me I talk to much while extroverts are confused by my desire to be alone. Truthfully, I don’t fit into either box. The desire to feel like I ‘belong’, is where the perfectionist narrative, or lack there of slips in. And this is where I am parking today. Why must we be classified? Why do we desire to be labeled?! Yes, the tests call me an INFJ, Enneagram 7 with spiritual gifts of teaching and apostleship…but does that mean I can’t operate in the space of an extrovert, while being a classic 2 & spiritually leading others?! We crave so desperately to feel seen that we take tests, quizzes and read horoscopes to give us that concrete conclusion…we are understood. Yet miss the opportunities that call us out of our comfort zone, out of our natural tendencies and into a space of transformation. And sister, I’m as guilty as the next. I literally use the descriptors of the enneagram and my words of affirmation love language to describe myself…daily. And while I don’t think the tests in themselves are bad, in fact, they can really shine a light on our strengths and areas of growth, they can not become how we define ourselves. These tests can not be our truth. The truth of who we are and why we are here can only be received from the one who created us. From our loving Father that left us with the Holy Spirit in the name of his son, Jesus. And He tells us exactly who we are…
And why we are here….
To love God.
To love others, as ourselves.
To love ourselves.
As we enter into a week that has been transformed from a day of gratitude to the Achilles of all perfectionist, let’s take a deep breath. As we enter the homes of fellow broken humans, called family, let’s take off our glasses of judgement & unforgiveness. Let’s receive the gift of time, food and shelter. Let’s be grateful to have what little or abundance our life has given us. Let’s put on our fat pants and eat some damn turkey…you can hit the gym tomorrow…or not…who cares?! Let’s shed the labels and wear the truth. Let’s be grateful. Let’s be who we were created to be, image bearers…not image wearers.
Happy Holidays brother, sister, friend….